Saturday, March 04, 2006

week9 is over! (: yeah. feel kinda bad cuz i was supposed to go for e green party but decided against it at e very last minute. but tts not e worst bit, yeah. i kinda asked ben to help me find someone to go instead. yes im an idiot, i know...

accompanied divya to get some stuff after sch.. like 17 birthday cards!!! wow. & for e 1st time, i saw her eat something unhealthy--- a cinnamon sugar coated pretzel! (:

was talking to divya abt stuff & yeah. i really have no idea where she, & basically e whole of rj save ppl like me get their drive from. maybe im weird. cuz right from e beginning, since i was a little kid, it was like, oh xh got 2nd in standard? yay!! she won this n tt? tts great (: im so happy for her! tt kinda thing. somehow, i just never felt e oh, since she won this, i must win tt, tt sorta thing. i mean, ive got goals & everything.. but i seriously lack discipline. my mum says all my life i always just get through by e skin of my teeth, like getting ok results, but not great results. like for psle i missed e esis scholarship cut-off by 3 marks, piano i missed distinction by 2 marks, ballet grade8 i missed distinction by 5 marks... e list goes on. sigh. i guess i really should do something abt my life. cuz its not abt e amt of time we've got to do stuff like study. whats more impt is how e time is used. & all ive done is waste my time.jc is so different, & difficult, & i'll have to become a lot more hardworking than i am now, just so tt i can scrape through. but actually, theres little point in merely doing just enough, even though tts what ive been doing my whole life. i really want to learn how to study hard, & soon